For the past seven years of my walk with the Lord, I had been warned against being "puffed up with knowledge". Well, it happened anyway. Don't get me wrong...there is a place for knowledge, but it is useless without applying it. I know...we're all guilty of that to some degree, but that still doesn't make it right and good.
For quite some time now, I have longed to understand what it means to "apply the Gospel" to your life. I had read and listened to teaching. I understand that we can take all of life and see the Gospel in it all, but for some reason I just couldn't get my arms wrapped around what that looked like aside from "knowing" it. I can give you the Gospel. I can give you biblical counsel. I can tell you lots of spiritually wise things, but there was something lacking. Until we moved here, I couldn't tell you what that was. But now, with the Lord's help, I see what I lacked...it is/was the "affection" for Christ...the ability to "know" Christ as a real person. I haven't known Christ as my personal Friend. There hasn't been much of anything "personal" in my view of my relationship with the Lord. A good way to put it...knowledge disconnected from my heart.
By His grace, things are changing. My affection for Him is growing as I have had to depend on Him alone through the various trials and hang-ups I've faced since moving. What has had the most impact is seeing and experiencing His intimate and specific care for me through each difficulty. He has made Himself known to me by specifically confirming things I've read through hearing them again the next week at church or/and confirming the things I've heard that week in church through my readings the next week. Travis and I have had conversations before church and in service the pastor would speak specifically about whatever it was we were talking about. It has been amazing.
Now, has God always been caring for me intimately and specifically? Absolutely! But did I have the eyes and heart to see it? NO! I believe the Lord took me to the place where I could no longer carry myself with my knowledge and wisdom, my position in leadership, my reputation, my personality, my strengths, or my relationships. But He's picked me up and carried me to a place where none of that matters...where He is all I have to rely on to carry me because I can't do it anymore. And quite frankly, I don't want to. My will is broken. In His arms...that's where I am.Here is a scripture that the Lord moved in someone during service on May 10th to share with the rest of the body....it was for me...Him specifically caring for me.
Isaiah 43: 1-4
But now, thus says the Lord,
your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
"For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
"Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
But now, thus says the Lord,
your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
"For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
"Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
If you read on to verse 5 it says "Do not fear, for I am with you;". Again, I believe He meant it for me.
You know what's changed? God hasn't...but He changed me. I expect to hear from Him when I go to church, when I read His Word, and when I fellowship with His people. I expect Him to answer prayers. I expect Him to encourage me. I expect to see Him in all things. I expect Him to care for me intimately and specifically.
I have to say, I've been tempted to dwell on the question and thoughts of...why did it take almost eight years to understand these things...look at the time wasted....I could have been enjoying the affection for Christ all these years instead I had been getting "puffed up with knowledge". Instead, I reject those thoughts and remind myself of His sovereignty...His goodness...His faithfulness....His infinite knowledge and wisdom....His Word that says "God causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love God , to those who are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8: 28). As my pastor said in one of his sermons "delay never thwarts His purposes, it only polishes His work". Once again we see that His ways are not ours.
The cool thing is, even with all the knowledge and wisdom I have, I couldn't have taught myself any of this. HE alone receives ALL the glory...He will share it with no one.
No comments:
Post a Comment